this carrd was made by a survivor of suicide, who wants you to know that you're not alone in how you feel. whether you've been a little sad or at your wit's end, and whether you've been feeling so for a day or a month or a year or even longer, you deserve to feel happy.
whatever's troubling you, sometimes the first step is to say something. even if you feel it won't help much in the moment, reaching out can help open a path to feeling better.
i've included crisis helplines, information sites, mental health charities and other resources that have helped me in difficult times and that i hope can help you too. <3

note: i'm from the UK, so this carrd focuses on UK-based resources, but i'll be happy to update for other countries if needed!

if you're struggling, please stay.

crisis resources

if you're in a crisis right now, please use these resources. even merely distracting yourself for a little while now could well make all the difference.

Freephone 24/7, 365 days a year, or email [email protected], with a response usually within a day

Text SHOUT to 85258, free. Reachable 24/7, all year round

Freephone and live webchat, 5pm-12am, 365 days a year

For young people. Freephone, 9am-midnight every day, or email [email protected]

For those missing, thinking of running away, or those concerned about them. Freephone or text, 24/7 all year round

if you don't want to talk right now...

...sometimes it can help to listen. others have hurt just like you - they know how it feels, and they know the impact of being understood.

information and resources

Medically informed and verified NHS advice and support. If you're in the UK and over 18, you can also self-refer for talking therapies on the NHS

Comprehensive resources on mental health conditions, coping mechanisms, and available support

Resources specific to young people

For advice on drugs, harm prevention, addiction and the law
Text FRANK free on 82611. Live webchat 2pm-6pm every day

For LGBT people. Phone or live webchat, 10am-10pm every day (not freephone; calls will use inclusive minutes or be charged at the standard rate)

For under 18s. Focused on help for crimes against children, including abuse and exploitation. Freephone 0800 1111, 24/7, all year round

For those with learning difficulties. Freephone 0808 800 1111, Mon-Fri, 10am-3pm

more resources will be added as i find them :)

mentions; suicide, self-harm, addiction and abuse
my experiences aren't universal, but taking the time to listen and understand better times do come might help you get through it <3

i've survived suicide three times in my life; all at the age of 16, and all three in one summer. i came close to adding to that number many, even countless, times before and after that summer. i've ached and struggled and hurt just as you might right now, and for all that time i thought too that there would be no solution, that things couldn't and wouldn't get better. it's a natural despair in such dark times. but at 17, and coming up to 18, the peace i wished for is here; the pain i endured is over, the space is here to heal, and the sky looks brighter than it ever has before. i understand believing there will be no end to your pain because i've been there too. i can only say that my experiences prove that was untrue, and with no hope in your life, it will only get darker.

allow me to elaborate a little. my childhood was strewn with things to struggle with. my parents split up at 4, i lost contact with my mum at 11, and my dad turned abusive at 13. i came out as trans at 14 and struggled not just with the pains of dysphoria, but my abusers deriding me for myself, and denying me any chance to approach transition. as a trans woman i've been dehumanised and made to feel like a freak by the people that pretended to love me most - the same people who took the chance to intensify my abuse after i came out. i self harmed as young as 14 and did so again later on in my struggles. even after i was finally removed from my abusers, i stayed with my grandparents in a state of limbo; unable to move forward with my transition or my life, i tuened to drugs to cope. i took hard drugs recklessly by the end of my stay there, not caring about the effect on my own body and mind. i thought every day of suicide for the best part of three years, and it felt absolutely endless. i felt, like you might now, that my past was my future, with no escape and no way of anything changing.

but it took overdue good fortune for me to learn that the bubble i lived in could not stick forever. my abusive parents could not keep up their delicate impression of good parenting, and i was removed from their house and taken to live with my grandparents. despite the immediate pressures of my abuse being gone, i remained stuck and unable to move forward. it was not until i saw the hope of moving out entirely that i was able to begin to fix the damage of a childhood spent in pain. i stopped taking drugs, and am now nearly a year sober. i began my transition, and am now nearly 5 months on estrogen and never feeling better. and i now have a girlfriend, having spent the entirety of my life believing i would never be attractive to anyone else.

so what's my point in telling you all this? it's to illustrate the place i was in, and to convey that no matter how far you have to go, how much you've been hurt, how hard it may be to reach where you deserve to be, you can and deserve to get there. i firmly believe there ia no point of no return in these crises, that no matter what a person can always reach the end of their pain and begin to heal. i've written this in the hope anyone who relates to it can take hope from it, that those perhaps struggling with abuse, addixtion or transition can understand that though they may all feel like infinite, permanent struggles, they do have an end and they will lead to healing. and finally, because i feel i owe it to anyone who is hurting now to help now that i am healing. in my darkest times i wished desperately to be understood and heard. and though i'm not saying i can understand your pain, i know where you've been, and it does end. <33